trying to regain inner peace…

I had my second last Herceptin infusion last week before travelling north into a storm for a week’s holiday at the beach.

I should probably explain up front that since my breast cancer diagnosis back in December 2011 I have not slept well. In fact, that’s an understatement since I can count on one hand (five fingers) how many times I have had a full night’s sleep in the past year!

Feel free to make suggestions, but really, I have tried every darned thing suggested to me to try and get some sleep!

– meditation tapes – yes
– relaxing music – yes
– lavender essential oil on my pillow – yes
– no coffee – yes
– no iPad – yes
– no tv – yes
– sleeping drugs – yes

Well, you get the idea… None of them worked. Not even the pharmaceutical products.

And the worst part in some ways was that I wasn’t waking up stressed or worrying or dwelling on my diagnosis. I was just awake.

This morning, a week after our holiday began, I woke at 6am. There had been NO WAKING IN THE NIGHT. Finally.

So what do I think allowed this to happen? Well, this week has been filled with family and fun. Some rain and some sun. Sitting watching waves break on shore. Listening to their breaking sounds at night in bed. A visit to the circus (Lennon Bros Circus). And, the BEST steak I’ve ever had just last night for dinner! (zebu bar and grill)

Was the steak the deal breaker? Was it the glass of french champagne that went with it? I think not…

It was a week surrounded by family and fun. And I can tell you, I don’t want to leave!

❤ Jenn

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